All spiritually gifted people and healers are still just humans. Humans with wounds and egos. It is absolutely crucial that you are extremely discerning in who you choose to invest your time, energy and money in.
Unfortunately, the spiritual/healing community (just like any other) can be a place where narcissists, manipulators, and unwell people feed their own needs.
You must understand that every single person is viewing life through their own filter, their own personal experiences and conditioned beliefs. Not one single human is a truly pure vessel. We all have baggage and trauma. We all have doubts, fears, and insecurities.
So ask yourself, who are you turning to for support?
Are you asking the ones who are asking YOU how YOU feel, and what YOU want? Or are you asking those who TELL you what you SHOULD be doing and how you SHOULD feel?
There is a huge (and healthy) difference between judgment and discernment, and when it comes to choosing the right support person for you, it is extremely important to utilize your discernment.
- The process and messages are always of love, not fear. You should leave you session feeling empowered and hopeful!
- They empower YOU to heal yourself and align with YOUR spiritual truth.
- They always respect your process. They show patience, respect, understanding and compassion.
- They openly admit they are human, have their own work to do, and they don’t have all of the answers.
If you notice any of these, be cautious and/or seek out a new healer!
- They say you need them in order to heal or get to the next spiritual level
Nope! You are your own authority!
- They say they don’t have an ego or shadow aspects
ALERT! Major red flag! Every single person on Earth has them, and the more you deny it, the more prevalent it is!
- It’s always about the money
No, services should not be free because most of these people have spent years, or even their whole life time learning and developing their gifts, however, their level of care should be evident. If it always comes down to the money, it might not be so much about the healing process…
- They dismiss your feelings or don’t acknowledge your concerns
If you feel unheard or unseen, this person is probably more interested in convincing you why they are “right”.
- They try to make you feel inferior to them
This is ego and the need for them to feel above others.
- If at any point they put their hands on you in a way that makes you uncomfortable
People will take advantage of your trust, especially when they are teachers, mentors, or healers who you believe have your best interest in mind. They may even try to convince you that it is part of the healing process. It might not be at first, they often will groom you to gain your trust.
- They try to convince you that you’re feeling a certain way
If someone says something that doesn’t resonate, do not allow them to manipulate you! There is a difference between you having a suppressed emotion and them trying to manipulate the outcome. Feel deeply and ask yourself if you believe this to be true – your gut won’t lie.
- They say their “guides” told them (insert message) but it’s a message of fear, victimization or that you must surrender your personal power in some way
Spirit is pure love!!! They will never give you a fearful message!
- They aren’t working on their own spiritual wellness
As I mentioned earlier, we are all a mess. Every single one of us… and we all need support!
- They allow you to remain the victim in your story
The healing process should empower you, even when dealing with situations in which you truly were a victim. The process should help you gain your power back and release stories attached to the idea that you are helpless or incapable of co-creating your future.
- They try to make others the “bad guys”
If they themselves seem to be the victim in their story or talk badly about others, that’s something to think about. Now, again, we all have work to do right? So it might just be a matter of them needing to process, however, if this seems to be their constant state, take time to feel into it more to see if they feel like a good fit for you.
- They project their own beliefs and wounds on to you
We all have our own lens that we are perceiving life through, and it’s not uncommon for an intuitive/psychic to use their own personal references (this is a way the intuitive may decipher messages), however, when it comes to the healing process, are they able to put aside their own thoughts and beliefs to help you get to the truth of your own?
- They have set “rules” or feel that their way is the only “right and correct” way to heal or believe
Truth is, there is no one way to do anything – that’s just not how Spirit works. We often hear that you must energetically clear, pray, meditate, etc., a certain way but that’s just not true. It’s all about intention.
- If at any point your gut says something doesn’t feel right
You don’t actually even need a reason! If something feels off, trust yourself! It doesn’t necessarily mean they have ill intentions, they might just not be a good fit for you.
Do you have anything to add to this list? Let me know!